{"id":635,"date":"2008-12-27T10:48:35","date_gmt":"2008-12-27T16:48:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=635"},"modified":"2008-12-27T10:52:55","modified_gmt":"2008-12-27T16:52:55","slug":"dog-mauls-owner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2008\/12\/27\/dog-mauls-owner\/","title":{"rendered":"Dog Mauls Owner"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Shelly Lipton of Dixon, Illinois was mauled by her normally loving lab named <em>Scooter<\/em>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/silly.jpg\" alt=\"silly.jpg\" height=\"217\" width=\"289\" \/>(This photo might have done it)<\/p>\n<p>Animal Control handler Steven Hildago said, &#8220;Sometimes owners dress their pets up in goofy as shit costumes one too many times, and the animals turn ultra violent on them&#8221;. Shelly suffered a broken collar bone, scratches, and was covered in urine. She also had bites on her hand, head, and crotch&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Shelly said she didn&#8217;t hold a grudge, but was in no mood to dress him in the near future. Asked if she&#8217;d ever do it again she said, &#8220;Not a fucking chance. I learned my lesson&#8221;&#8230;<br \/>\n<strong><br \/>\nFun At The Beach<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Some fun things to do at the beach are play catch, boogie board, and splash around wildly in chum-filled waters attracting sharks&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>But how about burying your brother in the sand up to his neck?<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/185075930_f89339dec0.jpg\" alt=\"185075930_f89339dec0.jpg\" height=\"348\" width=\"303\" \/>(Huge sand bugs knawing at him)<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s always fun until some punk kids with whiffle bats are looking for something to hit, or stray dogs come walking around, or you didn&#8217;t put sunscreen on him, or it&#8217;s high tide&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Not a good idea, unless you really hate your brother&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Off to the beach, have a day!<\/p>\n<div id=\"bolge-895817789\" class=\"bolge-after-content bolge-entity-placement\"><ins class=\"adbladeads\" data-cid=\"44284-1271501652\" data-host=\"web.adblade.com\" data-tag-type=\"4\" data-protocol=\"https\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><br style=\"clear: both; display: block; float: none;\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Shelly Lipton of Dixon, Illinois was mauled by her normally loving lab named Scooter&#8230; (This photo might have done it) Animal Control handler Steven Hildago said, &#8220;Sometimes owners dress their pets up in goofy as shit costumes one too many times, and the animals turn ultra violent on them&#8221;. Shelly suffered a broken collar bone, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=635"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/635\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}