{"id":6221,"date":"2011-11-17T12:14:17","date_gmt":"2011-11-17T18:14:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=6221"},"modified":"2011-11-17T14:47:56","modified_gmt":"2011-11-17T20:47:56","slug":"mr-potato-heads-baggage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2011\/11\/17\/mr-potato-heads-baggage\/","title":{"rendered":"Mr. Potato Heads Baggage"},"content":{"rendered":"

Look, it can seem like we comedians are piling on Republicans<\/p>\n

\"\"(Har de har)<\/p>\n

But it’s really more of a “hey you keep giving us this stuff” moment<\/p>\n

Think of how funny “John Kerry turdy Democrats” were in 03<\/p>\n

Well you can double it, then triple it, then multiply by 5<\/p>\n

Mr. Potato Head AKA “Newt the talking silver haired penis”<\/p>\n

\"\"(File photo)<\/p>\n

Got a sweetheart deal from Freddie Mac, you know them<\/p>\n

The one’s all Republicans demonize & blame for our collapse<\/p>\n

Not the banks, Wall Street, or the repeal of Glass Steagal<\/p>\n

Oh no, those other things had nothing to do with it at all<\/p>\n

\"\"(Hey hot tits!)<\/p>\n

Two weeks ago this fart locker couldn’t even get arrested<\/p>\n

It may seem like I’m always picking on the GOP “front runner”<\/p>\n

But turns out, they’re changing so quickly I can’t even keep up<\/p>\n

Maybe because they all can’t sell “Screw everyone but me”<\/p>\n

\"\"(Only I win)<\/p>\n

It’s like a bad reality show where everyone gets voted off the Island<\/p>\n

Forget Newt cheated on his 1st wife when she got cancer leaving her<\/p>\n

Forget the 6 figure spending spree at Tiffany’s he won’t explain<\/p>\n

Forget his dickish attitude to every moderator in all his debates<\/p>\n

\"\"(Is that the Joker?)<\/p>\n

Really in order to like any candidate, forget everything you know<\/p>\n

This is strangest group of grossly underqualified people I’ve ever seen<\/p>\n

Huntsman & Paul are the only two partially qualified people on stage<\/p>\n

And their is no chance in hell of them getting the nomination<\/p>\n

\"\"(Too soon?)<\/p>\n

Meh, you say tomato, I say the end of the Republican Party<\/p>\n

And the self inflicted schadenfreude couldn’t be more delicious<\/strong><\/p>\n

Holy Shit Balls, Obama Is Gay!?!?!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh yeah, it’s science fact people. Photo’s don’t lie…ever<\/p>\n

\"\"(I knew it!)<\/p>\n

Well, unless their photo shopped, or altered, or a politician<\/p>\n

Than they lie like a dog on the floor in a warm sun spot<\/p>\n

\"\"(At least it’s not a little boy)<\/p>\n

Benton has a new ad campaign with major leaders kissing<\/p>\n

All I could think was “What, no tongue?”. Nope, it’s classy<\/p>\n

With a capital K. This’ll piss people off, & that’s why they did it<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Look, it can seem like we comedians are piling on Republicans (Har de har) But it’s really more of a “hey you keep giving us this stuff” moment Think of how funny “John Kerry turdy Democrats” were in 03 Well you can double it, then triple it, then multiply by 5 Mr. Potato Head AKA […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6221"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6221"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6221\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6234,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6221\/revisions\/6234"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6221"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6221"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6221"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}