{"id":5319,"date":"2011-08-31T10:19:28","date_gmt":"2011-08-31T16:19:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=5319"},"modified":"2011-08-31T10:19:39","modified_gmt":"2011-08-31T16:19:39","slug":"dont-be-such-a-tease-big-boy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2011\/08\/31\/dont-be-such-a-tease-big-boy\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Be Such A Tease “Big Boy”…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Remember what I told you about Chris Christie?<\/p>\n

When he sounded “rational” a while back about Shira Law<\/p>\n

\"\"(Hey fuckstick, shutta your face)<\/p>\n

I said he was doing the pro-wrestling “heel face turn”<\/p>\n

Well, right on que he’s dipping his big ass toe in the water for 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

With hurricane Irene coming he had a simple message:<\/p>\n

“You’re done. It’s 4:30 p.m. You’ve maximized your tan”<\/p>\n

Which quickly prompted 5 guido’s to give him the single digit salute<\/p>\n

\"\"(You’re #1)<\/p>\n

It was part of his “Get Off The Beach” message. But turns out<\/p>\n

All the billionaire Republicans and Tea Party nuts want him to run<\/p>\n

To that he says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It’s incredibly flattering, but I’ve been pretty clear about it”<\/p>\n

Well if he does decide to run, I’ve got some sweet slogans for his campaign:<\/p>\n

\"\"(It’s true)<\/p>\n

-“The Jersey Bore”
\n-“Fat Man In A Little Coat”
\n-“Shut Up, I’m Trying To Eat”
\n-“Heart Desease Schmart Desease”
\n-“Pass The Gravy”
\n-“Augustus Gloop For President”<\/p>\n

Meh, we already have Bachmann and Perry in the race which is funny<\/p>\n

But when Palin gets into the race, that’s where the comedy gold kicks in<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n

<\/div>
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Remember what I told you about Chris Christie? When he sounded “rational” a while back about Shira Law (Hey fuckstick, shutta your face) I said he was doing the pro-wrestling “heel face turn” Well, right on que he’s dipping his big ass toe in the water for 2012 With hurricane Irene coming he had a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5319"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5319\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}