{"id":4842,"date":"2011-07-26T16:01:33","date_gmt":"2011-07-26T22:01:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=4842"},"modified":"2011-07-26T16:01:33","modified_gmt":"2011-07-26T22:01:33","slug":"primetime-douchebaggery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/26\/primetime-douchebaggery\/","title":{"rendered":"Primetime Douchebaggery"},"content":{"rendered":"

Obama went on national TV last night<\/p>\n

To basically say this about our debt ceiling:<\/p>\n

\"\"(“Hey, I’m mad(ish) here)<\/p>\n

“Um, I wanted a bipartisan approach of both spending cuts & revenue increases<\/p>\n

And massive Republican assholes on the other side won’t listen to me<\/p>\n

But, um, maybe they’ll listen to you if you call, e-mail, & speak your views”<\/p>\n

That’s it? That’s your big pitch? That’s your big “Karate Kid” move?<\/p>\n

\"\"(This hurts my crotch looking)<\/p>\n

Ha ha ha ha ha, no they won’t. They didn’t when you were elected<\/p>\n

Never have and never will. I don’t know if you understand or not<\/p>\n

*Moves hand to the side of his face in a loud whispering voice*<\/p>\n

But they really really really hate you, and will never be your friend<\/p>\n

\"\"(Pretty clear)<\/p>\n

Obama called the entire atmosphere:<\/p>\n

A “Partisan three-ring circus”<\/p>\n

Wait, that’s not true. We only have two rings<\/p>\n

Ring one: intelligent rational pussy parents caving at every turn<\/p>\n

Ring two: loud screaming bratty rich kids trying to cut their sister in half<\/p>\n

\"\"(Two rings it is!)<\/p>\n

Boehner gave his response which was basically this:<\/p>\n

“The blackish guy is a big fat spending liar who wants a blank check<\/p>\n

Even though this ceiling raise has been done by every Congress over time<\/p>\n

(Including the 7 times I<\/em> did it under Bush)<\/p>\n

\"\"(Spending bad, tax cuts great!)<\/p>\n

Now we want to be assholes and make an issue out of it for political reasons<\/p>\n

We work only for the wealthy, but want to work with him in a bi-partisan manor<\/p>\n

By that we mean “Fuck off, no tax revenue & give us what we want”<\/p>\n

Democrat Harry Reid’s plan was to the right of Boehner’s<\/p>\n

No tax increases for the top 3-5%. Wait, what?<\/p>\n

And Boehner’s at one point was actually a little to the left is his with<\/p>\n

Small revenue increases, with some taxes, but do this again 6 months later<\/p>\n

\"\"(Flood the ring, it’s an idea)<\/p>\n

*Scratches head*<\/p>\n

Then they got mad, re-switched positions both going farther away<\/p>\n

Simple shit right here:<\/p>\n

-The Debt Ceiling was raised 7 times under Bush
\n-It was raised 17 times under Reagan
\n-It’s been raised 74 times since March of 1962<\/p>\n

Guess how many times this partisan crap has happened with all those?<\/p>\n

\"\"(Congress today)<\/p>\n

Zero’s a pretty round fucking number. You fidiots could fuck up a one car funeral<\/p>\n

And couldn’t find your own ass in the dark with both hands and flashlight<\/p>\n

But we don’t want you anymore. The Republicans are economic idiots<\/p>\n

\"\"(Fair enough)<\/p>\n

And the Democrats are gutless pussy’s with no spine at all<\/p>\n

Who fold like a coked up origami experts<\/p>\n

The “Sunday Man Crack” Is Back<\/strong><\/p>\n

Football’s back on!<\/p>\n

\"\"(“Was it something I said?”)<\/p>\n

Like pants of the guy cheating on your wife when you get home<\/p>\n

Women expected a nice fall of brunches, shopping, & movies with their guy<\/p>\n

That all ended yesterday thanks to the NFL. So like a junkie needing a big fix<\/p>\n

All football fans everywhere begin tapping their arms, ready for the “good stuff”<\/p>\n

\"\"(No hurries to start)<\/p>\n

Which for the Bears might look like Jay Cutlers “break up”<\/p>\n

Meh, now hopefully domestic violence will be down on Sunday’s again…<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n

<\/div>
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Obama went on national TV last night To basically say this about our debt ceiling: (“Hey, I’m mad(ish) here) “Um, I wanted a bipartisan approach of both spending cuts & revenue increases And massive Republican assholes on the other side won’t listen to me But, um, maybe they’ll listen to you if you call, e-mail, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4842","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4842","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4842"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4842\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4842"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4842"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4842"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}