{"id":4671,"date":"2011-07-14T13:01:42","date_gmt":"2011-07-14T19:01:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=4671"},"modified":"2011-07-14T14:21:13","modified_gmt":"2011-07-14T20:21:13","slug":"unemployed-at-least-you-dont-do-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/14\/unemployed-at-least-you-dont-do-this\/","title":{"rendered":"Unemployed? At Least You Don’t Do This"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sure it sucks being out of job today, but things could be worse…<\/p>\n

\"\"(Ugh, “Axe” works my ass)<\/p>\n

You could be a(n):<\/p>\n

-Attack dog subject
\n-Faulty Parachute tester
\n-Little League coach
\n-Porcupine Hugger
\n-Replica Globe Continent title maker while getting straight D’s in Geography
\n-In Tank Deadly Shark Petter
\n-Facial bear trap tester
\n-Baby Juggler
\n-Crash Test Dummy
\n-4th grade teacher
\n-Live alligator dentist with no anesthetic<\/p>\n

Thank your lucky stars!<\/p>\n

Jack Ryan’s Younger Brother Paul…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Want’s you to know: Medicare is bad! Spending is bad! Government is bad!<\/p>\n

\"\"(But I printed stuff out at Kinko’s!)<\/p>\n

Wait a second, how does this guy earn a living again?<\/p>\n

Oh, right, he’s Wisconsin’s Republican House representative<\/p>\n

On a GOVERNMENT SALARY<\/p>\n

\"\"(“Tune In Tokyo”)<\/p>\n

Yes, my irony meter also exploded<\/p>\n

But wait. What is his solution to our problems?<\/p>\n

Oh, “vouchers”. OK, that makes sense<\/p>\n

For doctors who already don’t take Medicare patients<\/p>\n

*Disney record scratch*<\/p>\n

Wait, what? No, you can’t just kick the can down the road<\/p>\n

\"\"(“Say what?”)<\/p>\n

Then when older people get sick, their fucked<\/p>\n

Republican’s mantra: “Screw em. It’s not me, so not my problem”<\/p>\n

Clerk Quits Over Gay Marriage Licenses<\/strong><\/p>\n

A town clerk in New York has resigned. Why?<\/p>\n

Didn’t you read the title, or were you “skimming” again?<\/p>\n

To avoid being “forced” to sign marriage licenses for gay and lesbian couples<\/p>\n

You see, she has religious objections to same-sex marriage. From her letter to quit:<\/p>\n

\"\"(Laura Fotusky, the quitter)<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I believe that there is a higher law than the law of the land<\/em><\/p>\n

It is the law of God in the Bible.” <\/em><\/p>\n

Oh, I see. This is fun, can I play?<\/p>\n

Um, my 5 year old son has “Religious Objections” to “nap-time”<\/p>\n

Bible says “A man\/boy shall not lie down with a women until wed”<\/p>\n

Little Jason is only 2 inches from Becky Tattler’s head. Violation!<\/p>\n

\"\"(It happened!)<\/p>\n

It must be “fun” picking and choosing which laws you like or not<\/p>\n

You know, since “god’s” got your back<\/p>\n

Inside Nerd Joke: In other news<\/p>\n

Ptolemy recently quit astronomy citing the sun moves around the earth<\/p>\n

Copernicus & Galileo took his job right away<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n

<\/div>
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Sure it sucks being out of job today, but things could be worse… (Ugh, “Axe” works my ass) You could be a(n): -Attack dog subject -Faulty Parachute tester -Little League coach -Porcupine Hugger -Replica Globe Continent title maker while getting straight D’s in Geography -In Tank Deadly Shark Petter -Facial bear trap tester -Baby Juggler […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4671","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4671"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4671\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4671"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4671"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4671"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}