{"id":4597,"date":"2011-07-07T10:30:47","date_gmt":"2011-07-07T16:30:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=4597"},"modified":"2011-07-07T10:35:54","modified_gmt":"2011-07-07T16:35:54","slug":"how-to-be-more-authoritative","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/07\/how-to-be-more-authoritative\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Be More Authoritative"},"content":{"rendered":"

HEY, asshole, wake up, I’m talking TO YOU!<\/p>\n

\"\"(Authoritative boss)<\/p>\n

Anywho, we were talking about how to be more authoritative<\/p>\n

Here are some sure fire tips on how to do in your place of work:<\/p>\n

1) Carry a riding crop
\n2) Use a bullhorn when you say things
\n3) After a sentence, instantly punch someone in the throat
\n4) Get a tattoo on your face that reads “No Bullshit Zone”
\n5) Always be flanked by two massive bodyguards with no necks
\n6) Before you start a meeting, lay a flamethrower on the desk
\n7) If someone is talking say “Shhhhhhhhh” while putting your finger on their lips
\n8 ) Wear a t-shirt that says, “I Drink Your Tears”<\/p>\n

Now go out there and get em…<\/p>\n

\"\"(Authoritative boss)<\/p>\n

*Lights flamethrower a blaze*<\/p>\n

I said GO GET EM!<\/p>\n

\"\"(Not<\/em> authoritative boss)<\/p>\n

*People start running out of the room as John sprays fire everywhere laughing*<\/p>\n

Grizzly Bear Kills Hiker<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bear vs man without gun or a weapon. Bear always wins. Any questions?<\/p>\n

\"\"(I win, you’re dinner)<\/p>\n

They always maul someone, bite them, claw them or crush them<\/p>\n

It’d be way cooler to have them kung fu kick someone to death<\/p>\n

\"\"(Wuuuhaaaaa!)<\/p>\n

That’s something you just don’t see coming and might appreciate the variety of<\/p>\n

Just sayin’…<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

HEY, asshole, wake up, I’m talking TO YOU! (Authoritative boss) Anywho, we were talking about how to be more authoritative Here are some sure fire tips on how to do in your place of work: 1) Carry a riding crop 2) Use a bullhorn when you say things 3) After a sentence, instantly punch someone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4597"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4597"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4597\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4613,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4597\/revisions\/4613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4597"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4597"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4597"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}