![\"earnie-bert.jpg\"](\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/earnie-bert.jpg\")
(After looking at this closely, I’m scared)<\/p>\n(After looking at this closely, I’m scared)<\/p>\n
Sure you have your costume ready, you have the party to go to, or a place where you’ll be drinking your face off. If you’re a parent, you’ll be dressing up just to hand out candy to all the little loud neighborhood bastard kids…<\/p>\n
![\"borat-guy.jpg\"](\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/borat-guy.jpg\")
(Thanks for nothing Sacha Baron Cohen! Look what you made people do. It’s like UPS, I see packages everywhere now)<\/p>\n
But what if you don’t have a costume yet? Have no fear, here are some simple one’s you can do for free…<\/p>\n
Place Coat Hanger Around Your Neck<\/em> – When people ask you, “What are you supposed to be?”. Reply, “I’m the affordable abortionist!”. If you don’t get slapped, kicked, or have a drink thrown in your face, just wait. You will…<\/p>\n Put a Toilet Seat Around You Neck<\/em>(Noticing a theme here?) – When people ask you, “What are you supposed to be?”. Reply, “I’m shit-faced!”, or “Sorry, I’m just talkin’<\/em> shit”. Make sure to smear chocolate on the seat for added effect…<\/p>\n Attach a pair of rubber hands<\/em>(or stuffed gloves) around your neck as if you’re being choked<\/em> – When people ask, “What are you supposed to be?”. Reply, “I’m the 2008 Chicago Cubs!”. Don’t plan on having sex with any Cub fans…<\/p>\n Vote!<\/strong><\/p>\n Did I stutter? Oh, I did…s, s, s, sorry about t, t, t, that. Well go vote anyway…<\/p>\n Funny Foto<\/strong><\/p>\n Go have a Halloweeny!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (After looking at this closely, I’m scared) Sure you have your costume ready, you have the party to go to, or a place where you’ll be drinking your face off. If you’re a parent, you’ll be dressing up just to hand out candy to all the little loud neighborhood bastard kids… (Thanks for nothing Sacha […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/388"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=388"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/388\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=388"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=388"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=388"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"saferedirect-6.jpg\"](\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/saferedirect-6.jpg\")
(I have a mirror, I can read it just fine)<\/p>\n![\"n696271953_1313435_6400.jpg\"](\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/n696271953_1313435_6400.jpg\")
(He must work out)<\/p>\n