{"id":3585,"date":"2011-01-25T11:06:07","date_gmt":"2011-01-25T17:06:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=3585"},"modified":"2011-01-31T12:10:19","modified_gmt":"2011-01-31T18:10:19","slug":"big-ballot-boner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2011\/01\/25\/big-ballot-boner\/","title":{"rendered":"Big Ballot Boner!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Relax, it’s not really what you think it is…<\/p>\n

If it was this blog would have 9 hits instead of .005<\/p>\n

Rahm Emanuel won’t be on the ballot in Chicago’s mayoral race…<\/p>\n

\"rahm-finger-over-mouth.jpg\"(Now what am I forgetting?)<\/p>\n

Many believe it was replaced with “Dr. Kick Ass Cool Jewish Emanuel Del Fuego”<\/em><\/p>\n

By “Many” I mean “I”, and by “believe it was” I mean “know for sure it wasn’t”<\/p>\n

Meh, he’s trying the courts. You might win, you might lose…<\/p>\n

But ohhhhhhhhhhhh what a show<\/p>\n

\"rahm-emanuel-finger-hand-thing.jpg\"(Fozzy Bear “Wocka Wocka Wocka”!)<\/p>\n

All it’s missing is a ring master, calliope, and elephant shit…<\/p>\n

Oh yeah, and a bunch of kids jacked up a sugar frothing at the mouth<\/p>\n

State Of The Onion<\/strong><\/p>\n

What about their satire paper, the writers, the staff?<\/p>\n

The Onion News Network? The Sports Network?<\/p>\n

\"state-of-the-onion.jpg\"(A layered story)<\/p>\n

Your funny bone will remain untickled<\/p>\n

Tonight Obama’ll be: “Tuscon horror” then “Let us remember” then “Let us never forget” then “Stop being divided” then “Only together” then “Let’s all stop the hate”<\/p>\n

Finishing with a “God bless America” as red, white, and blue confetti canons fire…<\/p>\n

It’s watching Coke vs. Pepsi humans clap at shit in between naps<\/p>\n

Stand up, sit down, clap some more. It’s like Church meets a Scorpions concert<\/p>\n

\"scorpions-lovedrive.jpg\"(Nope, no drugs here)<\/p>\n

Just without the kneeling and kid getting high as fuck next to you<\/p>\n

Nutty McSquirral Shit Pleads “Not Guilty”<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’m shocked, shocked I tells ya<\/p>\n

\"creepy-killer.jpg\"(Um, when did he…)<\/p>\n

But if he’s pleading insanity<\/p>\n

By the Catch 22 book rule, that means if he “knows” he’s insane<\/p>\n

\"jared-lougher-sketch.jpg\"(Get glasses and hair?)<\/p>\n

Then he’s not insane. Let that bend your butter bitch<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n

<\/div>
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Relax, it’s not really what you think it is… If it was this blog would have 9 hits instead of .005 Rahm Emanuel won’t be on the ballot in Chicago’s mayoral race… (Now what am I forgetting?) Many believe it was replaced with “Dr. Kick Ass Cool Jewish Emanuel Del Fuego” By “Many” I mean […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3585"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3585\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}