{"id":3530,"date":"2011-01-07T15:24:42","date_gmt":"2011-01-07T21:24:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=3530"},"modified":"2011-01-07T15:24:42","modified_gmt":"2011-01-07T21:24:42","slug":"well-butter-my-beer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2011\/01\/07\/well-butter-my-beer\/","title":{"rendered":"Well &#8220;Butter My Beer&#8221;&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>At the Harry Potter attraction at Universal Islands of Adventure<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/harry-potter-condoms-funny.jpg\" alt=\"harry-potter-condoms-funny.jpg\" height=\"294\" width=\"294\" \/>(Sorry, wrong ride)<\/p>\n<p>It just marked it&#8217;s one millionth Butter Beer sold&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Yay! Surely the Hogwarts magic of &#8220;Consumerism&#8221; is back&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/harry-potter-butter-bear-people.jpg\" alt=\"harry-potter-butter-bear-people.jpg\" height=\"211\" width=\"293\" \/>(&#8220;To evil!&#8221;)<\/p>\n<p>But wait, a sec. It&#8217;s sort of odd they&#8217;d even keep that stat&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t you think? If they keep that, why not keep &#8220;excrement&#8221; stats?<\/p>\n<p>Like the 1 million gallon of urine from this Irish Pub<\/p>\n<p>Or, the 500,000th dump taken in that McDonald&#8217;s toilet&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Exciting Bucket-List<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Everyone has one and I&#8217;m no different&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/water-buckets.jpg\" alt=\"water-buckets.jpg\" height=\"379\" width=\"292\" \/>(Noooooice)<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s see, right now I have Rubbermaid, OXO, Homer, and Husky&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;m thinking of adding a Home-Pro Easy Glide with wheels and ringer<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/bucket-with-ringer.jpg\" alt=\"bucket-with-ringer.jpg\" height=\"290\" width=\"290\" \/>(Slick sexy shit right there)<\/p>\n<p>Meh, really any one will do&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>As I dim the light, put on Ashford &amp; Simpson, and scrub the holy fuck outta the floor<\/p>\n<p>Have a weekend!<\/p>\n<div id=\"bolge-2716496453\" class=\"bolge-after-content bolge-entity-placement\"><ins class=\"adbladeads\" data-cid=\"44284-1271501652\" data-host=\"web.adblade.com\" data-tag-type=\"4\" data-protocol=\"https\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><br style=\"clear: both; display: block; float: none;\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At the Harry Potter attraction at Universal Islands of Adventure (Sorry, wrong ride) It just marked it&#8217;s one millionth Butter Beer sold&#8230; Yay! Surely the Hogwarts magic of &#8220;Consumerism&#8221; is back&#8230; (&#8220;To evil!&#8221;) But wait, a sec. It&#8217;s sort of odd they&#8217;d even keep that stat&#8230; Don&#8217;t you think? If they keep that, why not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3530"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3530\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}