{"id":3262,"date":"2010-09-28T11:19:55","date_gmt":"2010-09-28T17:19:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=3262"},"modified":"2010-09-28T11:22:06","modified_gmt":"2010-09-28T17:22:06","slug":"not-a-good-segway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2010\/09\/28\/not-a-good-segway\/","title":{"rendered":"Not A Good Segway"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The owner of Segway sadly went over a cliff to his death while riding on&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Now wait for it&#8230;a Segway&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/seqway-owner.jpg\" alt=\"seqway-owner.jpg\" height=\"397\" width=\"293\" \/>(Sad day buddy)<\/p>\n<p>He thought he had the &#8220;parachute&#8221; model<\/p>\n<p>Because they didn&#8217;t invent a &#8220;cliff diving&#8221; model yet&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/cliff-diving.jpg\" alt=\"cliff-diving.jpg\" height=\"195\" width=\"292\" \/>(A tiny Segway is hidden up his ass)<\/p>\n<p>Thank god for gravity, cause it would\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve sucked plummeting to your death<\/p>\n<p>At a blazing 12.5mph&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Too soon? Yep&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;Vanilla Ice The Musical&#8221;?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>For kids&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>He could sing &#8220;Nice Nice Baby&#8221; too old about potty training&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/vanilla-ice-album-cover.jpg\" alt=\"vanilla-ice-album-cover.jpg\" height=\"291\" width=\"291\" \/>(If there&#8217;s a problem, Yo, I&#8217;ll solve it)<\/p>\n<p>How about a &#8220;Vanilla Ice Rock Opera&#8221; staged to drama?<\/p>\n<p>Better yet, let&#8217;s do &#8220;Vanilla Ice On Ice&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/cool-as-ice-video-jacket.jpg\" alt=\"cool-as-ice-video-jacket.jpg\" height=\"433\" width=\"291\" \/>(You melt stone with ice?)<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m just sayin&#8217; it could work. Really fucking badly&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Have a day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The owner of Segway sadly went over a cliff to his death while riding on&#8230; Now wait for it&#8230;a Segway&#8230; (Sad day buddy) He thought he had the &#8220;parachute&#8221; model Because they didn&#8217;t invent a &#8220;cliff diving&#8221; model yet&#8230; (A tiny Segway is hidden up his ass) Thank god for gravity, cause it would\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve sucked [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3262"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}