{"id":3000,"date":"2010-07-01T08:40:21","date_gmt":"2010-07-01T14:40:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=3000"},"modified":"2010-07-01T08:40:21","modified_gmt":"2010-07-01T14:40:21","slug":"pre-historic-death-whale-at-wet-n-wild","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2010\/07\/01\/pre-historic-death-whale-at-wet-n-wild\/","title":{"rendered":"Pre-historic Death Whale At Wet-N-Wild?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s 60 feet long, with vicious, tusk-like teeth some 36 centimeters (14 inches) long<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/pre-historic-death-whale.jpg\" alt=\"pre-historic-death-whale.jpg\" \/>(His name is Kevin)<\/p>\n<p>Death Whale! Death Whale! DEATH WHALE!<\/p>\n<p>And it was discovered at Wet-N-Wild water park eating little kids&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/kids-being-eaten-at-water-park.jpg\" alt=\"kids-being-eaten-at-water-park.jpg\" height=\"243\" width=\"272\" \/>(Death Whale!)<\/p>\n<p>Death Whale! Death Whale! DEATH WHALE!<\/p>\n<p>It can also walk on land, fly, file proper I-9 taxes, and breath fire<\/p>\n<p>Death Whale! Death Whale! DEATH WHALE!<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/jonah-the-whale.jpg\" alt=\"jonah-the-whale.jpg\" height=\"368\" width=\"271\" \/>(Whew, at least Death Whale isn&#8217;t close)<\/p>\n<p>It wasn&#8217;t really discovered at a water park, and might not really exist<\/p>\n<p>When an artist draws something scientists say, it must be true&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>In that case, draw me sitting on a pile of $, hoes, and a car<\/p>\n<p><strong>Black Basketball Jesus<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s not about Lebron James. It&#8217;s <em>only<\/em> about him&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/lebron-james.jpg\" alt=\"lebron-james.jpg\" height=\"339\" width=\"271\" \/>(Don&#8217;t fu#k my mom!)<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s a tip to would be cities if you really want to land Lebron<\/p>\n<p>Sign a contract promising no one on the team will fuck his mother<\/p>\n<p>He&#8217;s gets to be mayor, have his own airport, and legally named Jesus&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Have a day!<\/p>\n<div id=\"bolge-7761917\" class=\"bolge-after-content bolge-entity-placement\"><ins class=\"adbladeads\" data-cid=\"44284-1271501652\" data-host=\"web.adblade.com\" data-tag-type=\"4\" data-protocol=\"https\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><br style=\"clear: both; display: block; float: none;\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s 60 feet long, with vicious, tusk-like teeth some 36 centimeters (14 inches) long (His name is Kevin) Death Whale! Death Whale! DEATH WHALE! And it was discovered at Wet-N-Wild water park eating little kids&#8230; (Death Whale!) Death Whale! Death Whale! DEATH WHALE! It can also walk on land, fly, file proper I-9 taxes, and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3000"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3000\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}