{"id":2360,"date":"2009-12-31T12:01:59","date_gmt":"2009-12-31T18:01:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=2360"},"modified":"2009-12-31T12:01:59","modified_gmt":"2009-12-31T18:01:59","slug":"the-best-of-2009","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/12\/31\/the-best-of-2009\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best Of 2009"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cheney In A Wheelchair<\/h3>\n

Sounds like a new Blink 182<\/em> song\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Now the big question: Separated at birth?<\/p>\n

\"cheney-in-wheelchair.jpg\"(Captain happy)<\/p>\n

Cheney at Obama’s inauguration…<\/p>\n

\"mr-potter.jpg\"(Black and White version)<\/p>\n

He left early, but it didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t come as a shock to anyone. After all, his name is Dick<\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

The Oscars Had…<\/h3>\n

More singing and dancing than a gay pirate ship\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

On the gay sea\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6sailing toward the Cape of Gay Hope<\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"huge-frost-nixon.jpg\"(She looks better in a dress than Nixon)<\/p>\n

Fun? Yeah. Hard working? No doubt. Funny? Not so much\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Where were the jokes? I guess when the economy stinks, we no get-a the jokes\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t the Tony Awards have singing and dancing? When did they merge the two?<\/p>\n

Highlights:<\/p>\n

-Stiller as Joaquin
\n-Seth Rogan & James DeFranco on the couch with the MILK reference\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"stiller_portman.jpg\"(He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Stiller got it)<\/p>\n

One film sounded like a disease\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

All night I found myself saying, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I got a curious case of the Benjamin Buttons<\/em>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Shame Wow<\/h3>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153If you call in the next 20 minutes, cause we can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do this all day, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll pay $1,000 for sex, have the hooker bite my tongue, then beat the living fu%k out of her!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\"vince.jpg\"(Paper towels are no good for blood!)<\/p>\n

Guess he gave her the ol\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Chop Slap<\/em> to the face\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

I’ve Got A Boyle On My Ass<\/h3>\n

And it fucking sings Christmas songs…<\/p>\n

\"susan-boyle-singer.jpg\"(Uhhhhhh!)<\/p>\n

Whoa, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve seen cuter hairless dogs. She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s<\/span> got a face made for radio\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Remember her saying she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s never been kissed and lives alone with her cat, Pebbles?<\/p>\n

It was all a stunt to get more attention. She’s Balloon Boy’s dad with better pipes…<\/p>\n

Manny\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Nutz\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/h3>\n

You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve all heard about Manny Ramirez being banned by MLB for 50 days by now\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

But have you heard why<\/em>?<\/p>\n

\"manny-hug.jpg\"(A budding \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bromance\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/em>)<\/p>\n

Manny\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nuts are like unemployed alcoholics\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t work\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Bernie Made-Off With Our $…<\/h3>\n

Here’s hoping Bernie \u00e2\u20ac\u0153prison bitch\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Madoff\u00c2\u00a0 gets to spend the last 25 years of his life getting passed around like a one-hitter at a Dave Matthews concert\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"bernie-prison-bitch.jpg\"(Say bitch!)<\/p>\n

And it couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t happen to a bigger assface\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

He got 150 years, then had the balls to ask the judge for \u00e2\u20ac\u0153leniency\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"the-ponzi.jpg\"(Captain dick hole)<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m surprised he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get the gavel shoved directly up his ass by the judge\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Barry’s Beergate<\/h3>\n

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!<\/p>\n

\"guy-giving-beeer-bong-to-girl.jpg\"(Smooth buddy)<\/p>\n

There they all were, Gates, Crowley, Biden, Biden\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s rice noddle hair, Obama, and some cheap ass plastic Target lawn furniture\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Meh, $’s tight, times are tough\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"all-four-men-chilling.jpg\"(White, blackish, white, blackish. Nice!)<\/p>\n

But why the chairs gotta be white<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Dude Runs Like A Lady<\/h3>\n

Aerosmith sang, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153dude looks like a lady\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, so why can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153lady run like a dude\u00e2\u20ac\u009d?<\/p>\n

\"aerosmith-dude-looks-like-1051.jpg\"(Those are guys?)<\/p>\n

South Africa<\/span>\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s new 800-meter world champion Caster Semenya was declared a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153golden girl\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, but the athlete\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s family shrugged off questions about “her” gender<\/p>\n

\"gril-800.jpg\"(Nice mustache sir)<\/p>\n

You best not be a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Crying Game tucker\u00e2\u20ac\u009d…<\/p>\n

\"800-girl-running.jpg\"(Nice penis)<\/p>\n

Peckers are a hard thing to hide. Zing!<\/p>\n

Douchebag Heckler<\/h3>\n

Remember when Joe \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The Heckler\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Wilson decided to shout \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You lie\u00e2\u20ac\u009d when Obama said illegal immigrants will not be covered under the new healthcare plan?<\/p>\n

\"joe-wilson.jpg\"(You can see the hate)<\/p>\n

Nice work creepy asshole racist guy…<\/p>\n

\"pelosi-is-into-the-schocker.jpg\"(Pelosi likes the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153shocker\u00e2\u20ac\u009d)<\/p>\n

Wilson is a Republican from South Carolina, home of the morons\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Stay classy S.C! In new TV show news, Joe Wilson & Mark Sanford are staring in a sitcom on ABC this fall called \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Tiger Woods & The Heckler\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/em><\/p>\n

\"mark-sanford.jpg\"(Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lie for me Argentina)<\/p>\n

Let’s go heckle Joe Wilson with me during his job today. Cause I heard he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s so stupid he thinks Taco Bell is a phone company\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6zing!<\/p>\n

The Hoax\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s On You\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/h3>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Balloon Boy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u009d dad, Captain Farthole, did the entire thing as a stunt\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"dad-with-guy-at-the-door.jpg\"(Wait, lying about a kid is wrong?)<\/p>\n

To promote his new Reality TV show called \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Felony Dad\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Other working titles were \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bullshit Stories\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Pants On Fire, and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Prison Bitch\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Q: What the difference between Richard Heene and Glenn Beck?<\/p>\n

A: At least Heene can spell\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Balloon Boy\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Falcon is set to release a new inspirational book called \u00e2\u20ac\u0153All The Places You Will Never Go” where the balloon is popped on page one\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Tigers Wood\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/h3>\n

He and his wife Elin have a new line of SUV\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that come standard with both rear windows shattered called \u00e2\u20ac\u0153A Hole In One\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. Classier than a diamond tuning fork\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"tiger-funny.jpg\"(Oh, I get the joke now)<\/p>\n

What do Tiger Woods, David Letterman, and Hugh Grant all have in common?<\/p>\n

None of them are really black\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Super Prize Me!<\/h3>\n

Is it pronounced Oslo or Ozlo in Norway?<\/p>\n

Either way Obama\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be there receiving an Oscar, or VMA, or something\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"now-look-obama.jpg\"(\u00e2\u20ac\u009dThis Teen Choice Award means a lot!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d)<\/p>\n

Along with a huge plate of pickled herring served by two beach volleyball players\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"norways-beach-volleyball-team.jpg\"(Hazzah for swim suits!)<\/p>\n

Who also like to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153almost kiss\u00e2\u20ac\u009d often during games\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"norways-girls-almost-kissing.jpg\"(Just\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6a little\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6closer\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6)<\/p>\n

Norway gave the world playwright Henrik Ibsen\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Who in turn gave us his famous \u00e2\u20ac\u0153nuts in squirrels mouth\u00e2\u20ac\u009d beard\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\"henrick-ibsen.jpg\"(A Doll\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Hairdo)<\/p>\n

Nobel Schmobel, just fix our economy, two wars, and my ripped underwear\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

When you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re done with that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll need my back shaved\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

Have a year tonight!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cheney In A Wheelchair Sounds like a new Blink 182 song\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Now the big question: Separated at birth? (Captain happy) Cheney at Obama’s inauguration… (Black and White version) He left early, but it didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t come as a shock to anyone. After all, his name is Dick\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 The Oscars Had… More singing and dancing than a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2360"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2360"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2360\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2360"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2360"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2360"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}