{"id":2129,"date":"2009-10-29T10:44:47","date_gmt":"2009-10-29T16:44:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=2129"},"modified":"2009-10-29T10:45:37","modified_gmt":"2009-10-29T16:45:37","slug":"its-halloweenis-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/10\/29\/its-halloweenis-time\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s Halloweenis Time!"},"content":{"rendered":"

What are you gonna be this year?<\/p>\n

\"funny-t-shirt.jpg\"(Welp, you’re going home alone)<\/p>\n

A dragon? A cat? A drunk politician trying to bury a body in a shallow grave?<\/p>\n

If you’re the last one, you live in D.C, and it’s not a costume. Meh, the best part of Halloween is that adults dress up in disguises and say shit like “Your wife has great tits” at parties they would never say in a million years if they didn’t have a mask on<\/p>\n

Now the person replies, “That mummy’s a fucking asshole”, not “Ted’s an asshole”…<\/p>\n

\"halloween-party-girls.jpg\"(Which one has herpes? BUZZ, all of em)<\/p>\n

Here’s some cheap simple costumes if you’re running out of time:<\/p>\n

-Wear a toilet seat around your neck and say, “I’m going as Jon and Kate’s marriage”
\n-Get drunk, shout anti semitic slurs, then say, “I’m Mel Gibson”
\n-Walk around with a plastic dish of fake puke and say you’re “Balloon Boy”
\n-Wear normal clothes, then jump on peoples couches saying, “I’m Tom Cruise”<\/p>\n

The Recessions Over?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Um, someone forgot to tell all the unemployed people…<\/p>\n

\"haunted-houses.jpg\"(Hi-larious)<\/p>\n

It sort of like saying, “The worst is over” after a hurricane. Which really means, “We’re royally fucked and’ll be spending the next five years in hell cleaning it all up”…<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What are you gonna be this year? (Welp, you’re going home alone) A dragon? A cat? A drunk politician trying to bury a body in a shallow grave? If you’re the last one, you live in D.C, and it’s not a costume. Meh, the best part of Halloween is that adults dress up in disguises […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2129"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2129"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2129\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}