{"id":2028,"date":"2009-10-08T11:31:41","date_gmt":"2009-10-08T17:31:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=2028"},"modified":"2009-10-08T14:47:08","modified_gmt":"2009-10-08T20:47:08","slug":"dont-speed-for-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/10\/08\/dont-speed-for-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Don&#8217;t Speed For Me&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Argentina!<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/mark-of-lamancha.jpg\" alt=\"mark-of-lamancha.jpg\" height=\"243\" width=\"243\" \/>(This movie sucked. Literally)<\/p>\n<p>Turns out Mark Sanford was pulled over for speeding. More accurately, his driver was. The trooper pulling him over asked, &#8220;You got a good reason for running 85?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/state-trooper.jpg\" alt=\"state-trooper.jpg\" height=\"164\" width=\"243\" \/>(Quick, hide the weed &amp; blow)<\/p>\n<p>The driver responds he&#8217;s driving Sanford. The trooper wryly responds, &#8220;Not a really good reason to be speeding&#8221;. The driver quips, &#8220;Tell him that&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/i-have-balls-this-big.jpg\" alt=\"i-have-balls-this-big.jpg\" height=\"160\" width=\"244\" \/>(I have balls <em>this<\/em> big)<\/p>\n<p>The driver should&#8217;ve said, &#8220;He has a date in 20 minutes at the Red Roof Inn&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s more believable. He wasn&#8217;t issued a ticket, but the trooper did issue him a stern warning to keep his penis away from the troopers wife and daughters&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Most Annoying Word Is&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What-ev-er&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/whatever.jpg\" alt=\"whatever.jpg\" height=\"364\" width=\"243\" \/>(Are those goalposts for paper football?)<\/p>\n<p>Funny, I thought it was &#8220;Taxes&#8221;, &#8220;Republican&#8221;, or &#8220;Syphilis&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;ve all heard someone, mostly a teen-aged girl say it while chomping gum and twisting her hair sneering at you. Then comes the, &#8220;What-eevvvvvvvvvvvvver&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/girl-button.jpg\" alt=\"girl-button.jpg\" height=\"182\" width=\"243\" \/>(Please choke on it. Pleeeeeeese)<\/p>\n<p>My new response to &#8220;Whatever&#8221; is to kick them in the crotch, and take their wallet&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>When they shout, &#8220;What the fuck are you doing?&#8221;. I&#8217;ll say, &#8220;You said whatever&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Have a day!<\/p>\n<div id=\"bolge-3953029073\" class=\"bolge-after-content bolge-entity-placement\"><ins class=\"adbladeads\" data-cid=\"44284-1271501652\" data-host=\"web.adblade.com\" data-tag-type=\"4\" data-protocol=\"https\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><br style=\"clear: both; display: block; float: none;\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Argentina! (This movie sucked. Literally) Turns out Mark Sanford was pulled over for speeding. More accurately, his driver was. The trooper pulling him over asked, &#8220;You got a good reason for running 85?&#8221; (Quick, hide the weed &amp; blow) The driver responds he&#8217;s driving Sanford. The trooper wryly responds, &#8220;Not a really good reason to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2028","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2028"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2028\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}