{"id":2016,"date":"2009-10-06T10:28:45","date_gmt":"2009-10-06T16:28:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=2016"},"modified":"2009-10-06T10:28:45","modified_gmt":"2009-10-06T16:28:45","slug":"shroud-of-sham-wow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/10\/06\/shroud-of-sham-wow\/","title":{"rendered":"Shroud Of Sham Wow!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Turns out the Shroud of Turin <em>can<\/em> be duplicated&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/shroud-of-turin.jpg\" alt=\"shroud-of-turin.jpg\" height=\"329\" width=\"241\" \/>(Is he winking at me?)<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We have shown that is possible to reproduce something which has the same characteristics as the Shroud,&#8221; Luigi Garlaschelli, who is due to illustrate the results at a conference on the para-normal this weekend in northern Italy, said on Monday.<\/p>\n<p>Uh oh, not good for big business $ religions. They better come out with a whacky counter argument like &#8220;Jesus inspired Luigi in a secret night time visit telling him exactly how to accomplish the duplication. Luigi just forgot the Jesus part&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Whatever argument, it won&#8217;t be a strong as Crystal Pepsi was&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/crystalpepsi1.jpg\" alt=\"crystalpepsi1.jpg\" height=\"190\" width=\"242\" \/>(Great idea boss!)<\/p>\n<p>Jesus in a pretzel, Jesus in toast, Jesus-H-tap-dancing-Christ, enough already&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The <span style=\"background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; cursor: pointer; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial\" class=\"yshortcuts\" id=\"lw_1254756712_6\">Catholic Church<\/span> does not claim the Shroud is authentic nor that it is a matter of faith, but says it should be a powerful reminder of Christ&#8217;s passion.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/why-catholics-cant-sing.jpg\" alt=\"why-catholics-cant-sing.jpg\" height=\"312\" width=\"242\" \/>(True, we can&#8217;t carry a tune with a handle)<\/p>\n<p>Every con needs a &#8220;mark&#8221;. The Church has 62 million. My guess is that 50 million don&#8217;t believe it either and go to church for an hour of piece and fucking quiet&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jim Carrey As Curly?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Yep, for the upcoming Three Stooges movie&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And they&#8217;re calling this his &#8220;fuller figure&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/jim-carey-fuller-figure.jpg\" alt=\"jim-carey-fuller-figure.jpg\" height=\"390\" width=\"241\" \/>(Nice beard Joaquin!)<\/p>\n<p>Which means the rest of us normal sized people are Orca&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>If that&#8217;s &#8220;fuller&#8221;, I&#8217;m &#8220;Dr. Fat Fuckerson&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Have a day!<\/p>\n<div id=\"bolge-1877371766\" class=\"bolge-after-content bolge-entity-placement\"><ins class=\"adbladeads\" data-cid=\"44284-1271501652\" data-host=\"web.adblade.com\" data-tag-type=\"4\" data-protocol=\"https\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><br style=\"clear: both; display: block; float: none;\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Turns out the Shroud of Turin can be duplicated&#8230; (Is he winking at me?) &#8220;We have shown that is possible to reproduce something which has the same characteristics as the Shroud,&#8221; Luigi Garlaschelli, who is due to illustrate the results at a conference on the para-normal this weekend in northern Italy, said on Monday. Uh [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2016","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2016","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2016"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2016\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2016"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2016"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2016"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}