{"id":1825,"date":"2009-08-26T11:11:41","date_gmt":"2009-08-26T17:11:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=1825"},"modified":"2009-08-27T09:13:59","modified_gmt":"2009-08-27T15:13:59","slug":"todays-douchebag-threat-level-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/08\/26\/todays-douchebag-threat-level-is\/","title":{"rendered":"Today’s Douchebag Threat Level Is…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Scarlet red…<\/p>\n

\"douchebag-1.jpg\"(You’ve got a lil’ Beck in you)<\/p>\n

Be ready for questions at work from your nosy cubemate like, “Susan, what’s with all the post-its?”, or “Could you use headphone to keep your ABBA music down?”…<\/p>\n

It’s 70 degrees with an extra chance of being needlessly douchey. Like guys in elevators giving away the endings to summer movies out right now…<\/p>\n

\"douchebag.jpg\"(Slick, what a deal!)<\/p>\n

Favorite douchebag lines recently:<\/p>\n

Death – “Well since your dads dead can I have his tools? He’s not using them”
\nDating – “You’re not as fat as you looked in your photo, but still pretty stout”
\nCrowed Bus – “Excuse me, you’re in my seat”
\nKissing – “Not bad, was that your 1st time?”
\nFarting – “It still doesn’t smell nearly has bad as your cooking”<\/p>\n

RIP Ted Kennedy…<\/strong><\/p>\n

The “lion” of the senate died at the age of 77 after losing a battle with brain cancer…<\/p>\n

\"ted-kenedy.jpg\"(Someone’s giving me bunny ears”)<\/p>\n

Sad news. Great man. Bigger drinker…<\/p>\n

\"drunk_as_a_skunk.jpg\"(Pop up book with vomit is cool)<\/p>\n

Hope he hired a good drunk dog walker so Splash feels like he’s till there. Too soon?<\/p>\n

He will me missed. Much love out to his family. He was a great senator…<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n

<\/div>
","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scarlet red… (You’ve got a lil’ Beck in you) Be ready for questions at work from your nosy cubemate like, “Susan, what’s with all the post-its?”, or “Could you use headphone to keep your ABBA music down?”… It’s 70 degrees with an extra chance of being needlessly douchey. Like guys in elevators giving away the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1825","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1825"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1825\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}