{"id":1709,"date":"2009-08-04T10:12:25","date_gmt":"2009-08-04T16:12:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=1709"},"modified":"2009-08-04T13:02:24","modified_gmt":"2009-08-04T19:02:24","slug":"run-fat-boy-run","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/08\/04\/run-fat-boy-run\/","title":{"rendered":"Run Fat Boy Run&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Loud mouthed, conservative schlock jock Rush Limbaugh dropped 90 pounds&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/08\/fat-rush.jpg\" alt=\"fat-rush.jpg\" height=\"368\" width=\"269\" \/>(I drink your milkshake! Not anymore)<\/p>\n<p>Supposedly by &#8220;passing&#8221; pandering pundit Michelle Malkin&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/08\/runfatboyrun.jpg\" alt=\"runfatboyrun.jpg\" height=\"159\" width=\"271\" \/>(If that&#8217;s fat, I&#8217;m fucked)<\/p>\n<p>You know he&#8217;ll gain it back because eating Malkin is like Chinese food&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re hungry 20 minutes later.<\/p>\n<p>But the real question is how&#8217;d he do it? Simple, with basic voodoo and being a marketing whore for $. He went to Quick Weight Loss Centers, a Florida-based company that combines a low-calorie diet, office visits and supplements&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/08\/rush-with-pills.jpg\" alt=\"rush-with-pills.jpg\" height=\"198\" width=\"270\" \/>(Don&#8217;t buy <em>this<\/em> silly shit)<\/p>\n<p>Gee, this is really hard to see what might be coming next. I can&#8217;t believe he might have them become a regular show sponsor AND be their spokesperson. Golly, how totally out of left field. Predictable Rush-a-roni. It&#8217;ll happen, you can book it&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/08\/hippie-rush.jpg\" alt=\"hippie-rush.jpg\" height=\"360\" width=\"271\" \/>(&#8220;Hippie Rush&#8221; is when he hits 65)<\/p>\n<p>He&#8217;s like a boxer telegraphing a left hook&#8230;three months before the fight&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Some people say you loose valuable brain mass when you have rapid weight loss.<\/p>\n<p>He should hang on to the few cells he has left like a gambler to his last poker chips<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/08\/rush-limbaugh-parody.jpg\" alt=\"rush-limbaugh-parody.jpg\" height=\"495\" width=\"380\" \/>(Spokesman)<\/p>\n<p>Skinny, fat, medium build&#8230;none of it matters if your words are a pile of mush&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Screech And Belding Bumped<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Can <em>we<\/em> be saved from Saved By The Bell?<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/08\/people-cover.jpg\" alt=\"people-cover.jpg\" height=\"356\" width=\"270\" \/>(Lisa&#8217;s a &#8220;size queen&#8221; in the 89 photo)<\/p>\n<p>Yes, don&#8217;t buy People magazine with them on the cover. Besides, since it&#8217;s missing Screech and principal Belding, no &#8220;collectors item&#8221; status, which is all that matters&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Clearly Saved By The Bell was to TV what the Beatles were to music&#8230;clearly&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/08\/slater.jpg\" alt=\"slater.jpg\" height=\"349\" width=\"271\" \/>(Stool sample)<\/p>\n<p>Being upset you&#8217;re not on the cover is kind of like being mad you didn&#8217;t get invited to the <em>New Kids On The Block<\/em> reunion. I&#8217;d rather clean dog shit off my shoe then attend&#8230;and I don&#8217;t own a dog. It&#8217;s alright, cause we&#8217;re saved by the bell.<\/p>\n<p>Have a day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Loud mouthed, conservative schlock jock Rush Limbaugh dropped 90 pounds&#8230; (I drink your milkshake! Not anymore) Supposedly by &#8220;passing&#8221; pandering pundit Michelle Malkin&#8230; (If that&#8217;s fat, I&#8217;m fucked) You know he&#8217;ll gain it back because eating Malkin is like Chinese food&#8230; You&#8217;re hungry 20 minutes later. But the real question is how&#8217;d he do it? [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1709"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1709"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1709\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}