{"id":15899,"date":"2015-07-17T10:32:27","date_gmt":"2015-07-17T16:32:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=15899"},"modified":"2015-07-17T10:34:17","modified_gmt":"2015-07-17T16:34:17","slug":"do-aliens-want-your-butthole","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2015\/07\/17\/do-aliens-want-your-butthole\/","title":{"rendered":"Do Aliens Want Your Butthole?!?"},"content":{"rendered":"

It seems that way from every “abduction” story<\/p>\n

I’m thinking just a bunch of Red Necks went to<\/p>\n

\"Alien(I knew it!)<\/p>\n

a Glow necklace Rave party & just had anal sex<\/p>\n

Then they “woke up” the next day, in an empty<\/p>\n

Corn Field, with their Pants at their Ankles. The<\/p>\n

story is then “It was big bright flash of lights!!!”<\/p>\n

(Disco lights) and “They drugged me!”(He took<\/p>\n

X at the party), then it’s “I was groggy, getting<\/p>\n

anally probed!!” (The But Sex). Finally, landing<\/p>\n

\"Funny(There’s a line?!?)<\/p>\n

on “Then I just woke up in this empty corn field<\/p>\n

with my pants at my feet”(Those ‘gays’ dumped<\/p>\n

him after he bit one of them pissin’ everywhere)<\/p>\n

Yeep, Your “Abduction Story” All Checks Out Ace<\/p>\n

NOTE: Muslim Terrorist<\/a>, Killed 4 Americans
\nMohammod Youssuf Abdulazeez Was 24 And
\nIs Now Dead. FBI Has Nothing That Ties Him
\nTo National Terrorist Organizations. He Posts
\nIslamic Religious Crap. He Was Insane, & Evil
\nThis, Is The Best Information We Have Today<\/p>\n

Have a weekend!<\/p>\n

<\/div>
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It seems that way from every “abduction” story I’m thinking just a bunch of Red Necks went to (I knew it!) a Glow necklace Rave party & just had anal sex Then they “woke up” the next day, in an empty Corn Field, with their Pants at their Ankles. The story is then “It was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15899"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15899\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}