{"id":139,"date":"2008-08-26T08:28:58","date_gmt":"2008-08-26T14:28:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=139"},"modified":"2008-08-26T10:33:00","modified_gmt":"2008-08-26T16:33:00","slug":"shit-balls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2008\/08\/26\/shit-balls\/","title":{"rendered":"Shit balls!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Nothing says &#8220;heart attack&#8221; like two 4oz. beef patties, two slices of cheese, 6 strips of bacon, mayo and ketchup&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/08\/979546927_e681235f98.jpg\" alt=\"979546927_e681235f98.jpg\" height=\"205\" width=\"261\" \/>(It takes four days to walk around on foot)<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m talking about The <strong>Baconator<\/strong> from Wendy&#8217;s! It&#8217;s so bad for you, they actually serve it with defibulator  pads and a cardiologist. One sniff of the sandwich and your left arm goes numb. After three bites most people black out&#8230;for true!<\/p>\n<p>After eating half of one, Arnold Whistle of Coppell, TX woke up three days later, pant-less in the dumpster, unable to pronounce the letter &#8220;s&#8221;. When the cops asked what happened he said, &#8220;I wa eating, thi burger, then uddenly hit went dark&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In controlled experiments, the <em>Jenko Corporation<\/em> feed one to a 17,121lb Kodiak Brown Bear named <em>Marbles<\/em>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/08\/1681002459_2a96524b61.jpg\" alt=\"1681002459_2a96524b61.jpg\" height=\"215\" width=\"139\" \/>(Artists rendering of <em>Marbles<\/em>)<\/p>\n<p>The Bear collapsed instantly as it&#8217;s heart rocketed from it&#8217;s chest and flew over 7000 yards. When a bunch of fancy schmancy people in white lab coats finally got within 20ft of the heart&#8230;it exploded&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Knowing all this, you know what you must do. Hurry, and get <strong>Baconated<\/strong> today!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nothing says &#8220;heart attack&#8221; like two 4oz. beef patties, two slices of cheese, 6 strips of bacon, mayo and ketchup&#8230; (It takes four days to walk around on foot) I&#8217;m talking about The Baconator from Wendy&#8217;s! It&#8217;s so bad for you, they actually serve it with defibulator pads and a cardiologist. One sniff of the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=139"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}