{"id":133,"date":"2008-08-23T11:08:33","date_gmt":"2008-08-23T17:08:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=133"},"modified":"2008-08-23T11:09:33","modified_gmt":"2008-08-23T17:09:33","slug":"the-world-is-falling-apart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2008\/08\/23\/the-world-is-falling-apart\/","title":{"rendered":"The world is falling apart?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Blame Guitar Hero III<\/em>!<\/p>\n

The world is falling apart, and instead of Nero fiddling…everyone’s collectively decided to play Rock Band, Rock Band 2, the upcoming GH World Tour, or GH III…<\/p>\n

(My Guitar Hero III instructor 6 year-old Matthew Dicklips)<\/font><\/p>\n

My licks are sick, my chords are wammied<\/em>, & nobody “hammer ons”<\/em> or does “pull offs”<\/em> \t\tbetter than me. By “nobody”, I mean anyone missing all their fingers…it’s a select group\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

If you like feeling old, rediscovering your own horribly off beat rhythm, or being \t\thumiliated regularly by 7 and 8 year olds all across this country, I suggest you \t\tplay on-line. I find it easier to shuffle a deck of cards filled with razor blades \t\tor stack several household appliances on my face while drinking a jug of my own urine \t\tthan hit basic cords to Pearl Jams “Even Flow<\/em>“. That’s why I’m climbing in my time machine, \t\tand heading back to where games felt real, boss, and easier to play. Stuff like \t\tMoon Patrol, Jump Bug, Marble Madness, Joust, Kung Fu, Robotron, Donkey Kong, Defender, Frogger, Rampart, Qbert, Spy Hunter, Battle Tank, Galaga, Tron, Crazy Climber<\/em>, and Punch Out.<\/em> Here I come Glass Joe, Pizza Pasta, and Bald Bull\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6left, left, right, body blow, \t\tbody blow!<\/p>\n

(Funny, I don’t remember Uncle Jesse in Punch Out)<\/font><\/p>\n

I’m older than Jesus’s beard…<\/p>\n

<\/div>
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Blame Guitar Hero III! The world is falling apart, and instead of Nero fiddling…everyone’s collectively decided to play Rock Band, Rock Band 2, the upcoming GH World Tour, or GH III… (My Guitar Hero III instructor 6 year-old Matthew Dicklips) My licks are sick, my chords are wammied, & nobody “hammer ons” or does “pull […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=133"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/133\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}