{"id":1240,"date":"2009-05-04T10:00:33","date_gmt":"2009-05-04T16:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=1240"},"modified":"2009-05-04T10:00:33","modified_gmt":"2009-05-04T16:00:33","slug":"wolverine-admits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/05\/04\/wolverine-admits\/","title":{"rendered":"Wolverine Admits…"},"content":{"rendered":"

He can’t play blues guitar, shake hands after business meetings, or wipe his ass…<\/p>\n

\"wolverine-howling.jpg\"(Quit after 2 lessons, & 5 ruined guitars)<\/p>\n

He’s a “regular” fella like you, just with adamantium claws. His “turn on’s” include techno music, collecting My Little Pony dolls<\/em>, and being able to fart on command…<\/p>\n

\"wolverineorigins_firstphoto.jpg\"(Pfffffffftttttfffffffffrrrreehhhh)<\/p>\n

Something he thinks he does really well is saving money on razors…<\/p>\n

With Hugh Jackman’s prequel ” X-Men Origins: Wolverine”<\/em> opening this past weekend, it “clawed” it’s way to the top of the box office with an $87 million. By “clawed”, I mean using only his fingernails, good looks, and hard work…<\/p>\n

He didn’t use his actual claws, that’d be ridiculous…<\/p>\n

He won mostly because there are no other fucking movies out now worth seeing…<\/p>\n

Al Gore To Make Pants Suits Out Of Children’s Tears<\/strong><\/p>\n

Former Vice President Al Gore, in an effort to go green has decided to make a line of woman’s clothing solely by harnessing the awesome power of kids tears…<\/p>\n

\"al-gore-1.jpg\"(He offers to “split the lip” of a child)<\/p>\n

Most of the kids are expected to be white, but he’s open to any impudent kids tears…<\/p>\n

\"kids-tears.jpg\"(Cry out a good one Toby)<\/p>\n

After Al shouts the magic incantation “Doth throc deleatos” from the necronomicon, the tears will assemble forming this stunning pink and brown number…<\/p>\n

\"black-pink.jpg\"(Damn classy)<\/p>\n

It’s rumored he’s coming out with men’s running shoes made from pigeon shit…<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He can’t play blues guitar, shake hands after business meetings, or wipe his ass… (Quit after 2 lessons, & 5 ruined guitars) He’s a “regular” fella like you, just with adamantium claws. His “turn on’s” include techno music, collecting My Little Pony dolls, and being able to fart on command… (Pfffffffftttttfffffffffrrrreehhhh) Something he thinks he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1240"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1240"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1240\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1240"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1240"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1240"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}