{"id":11319,"date":"2013-07-04T19:59:26","date_gmt":"2013-07-05T01:59:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=11319"},"modified":"2013-07-04T19:59:26","modified_gmt":"2013-07-05T01:59:26","slug":"happy-no-short-wicks-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2013\/07\/04\/happy-no-short-wicks-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy &#8220;No Short Wicks&#8221; Day!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Happy 4th of July! Unless you&#8217;re in Europe, then have a fun<\/p>\n<p>Thursday. Make sure not to light any &#8220;short wicks&#8221;, or you&#8217;ll<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-11312\" title=\"Fireworks hand lighting it\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Fireworks-hand-lighting-it.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"324\" height=\"158\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Fireworks-hand-lighting-it.jpg 492w, https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Fireworks-hand-lighting-it-300x146.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 324px) 100vw, 324px\" \/>(Steady&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p>be called &#8220;Stubby Fingers&#8221; from now on. Rock your 4th, and<\/p>\n<p>front load as many hotdogs as your colon can handle. Make<\/p>\n<p>sure to not light sticks of dynamite by accident if you notice<\/p>\n<p>the TNT letters on the wooden box. Now go celebrate it all!<\/p>\n<p>Have an Independence Day!<\/p>\n<div id=\"bolge-2562207313\" class=\"bolge-after-content bolge-entity-placement\"><ins class=\"adbladeads\" data-cid=\"44284-1271501652\" data-host=\"web.adblade.com\" data-tag-type=\"4\" data-protocol=\"https\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><br style=\"clear: both; display: block; float: none;\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Happy 4th of July! Unless you&#8217;re in Europe, then have a fun Thursday. Make sure not to light any &#8220;short wicks&#8221;, or you&#8217;ll (Steady&#8230;) be called &#8220;Stubby Fingers&#8221; from now on. Rock your 4th, and front load as many hotdogs as your colon can handle. Make sure to not light sticks of dynamite by accident [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11319"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11319\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}