{"id":1114,"date":"2009-04-13T10:15:04","date_gmt":"2009-04-13T16:15:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=1114"},"modified":"2009-04-13T10:16:12","modified_gmt":"2009-04-13T16:16:12","slug":"pirates-of-the-barely-breathin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/04\/13\/pirates-of-the-barely-breathin\/","title":{"rendered":"Pirates Of The Barely-breathin’…"},"content":{"rendered":"

I always thought pirates were supposed to be a lovable rag tag group of scallywags tryin’ to find treasure, or be the main part of a Disney theme ride…<\/p>\n

\"pirates-on-deck.jpg\"(Argh, new<\/em> pirates<\/span> can kiss my aft end!)<\/p>\n

Nope…<\/p>\n

Somali pirates<\/span> are kind of like a collection of floating super dicks…<\/p>\n

After a five-day standoff during which a small U.S. flotilla tailed the lifeboat, Navy SEAL<\/span> snipers on a destroyer shot and killed three pirates and plucked an unharmed Capt. Richard Phillips to safety. A fourth pirate surrendered. His likely new nickname will be “Puss-pants” if he ever sails again…<\/p>\n

\"somali-pirates.jpg\"(Puss-Pants)<\/p>\n

I think the term is way off here. Even pirates still had a code. These douche puppets flew the American flag to sucker us in. Maybe instead of Pirates we could call them Aqua Shoplifters<\/em>, Water-Robbers<\/em>, or Sea-assholes<\/em>…<\/p>\n

Bi-Polar Woman!<\/p>\n

I’m calling a “Code Stupid”<\/span>…<\/p>\n

A women at the Berlin Zoo while watching the Polar bears; decided to climb the fence and jump into its habitat…During feeding time<\/em>…<\/p>\n

\"woman-polar-bear-attack.gif\"(Surprise, they don’t like<\/span> people)<\/p>\n

The ironic part, she was really fat, and one took a huge chomp out of her ass<\/a>…<\/p>\n

To the bear, it must have looked like two moving hams trapped in denim…<\/p>\n

Well, that’s one way to loose weight. Luckily we have a file photo of her as a kid…<\/p>\n

\"dumbass.png\"(Nice move)<\/p>\n

She didn’t “fall in”, and this wasn’t an “accident”…<\/p>\n

This was a serious case of “Dumbfuckitis”<\/em>…<\/p>\n

White Sox are playing at 12:05 today against Detroit so hopefully they make more contact with balls today than a hookers hand…<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I always thought pirates were supposed to be a lovable rag tag group of scallywags tryin’ to find treasure, or be the main part of a Disney theme ride… (Argh, new pirates can kiss my aft end!) Nope… Somali pirates are kind of like a collection of floating super dicks… After a five-day standoff during […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1114"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1114"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1114\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}