{"id":1012,"date":"2009-03-23T09:18:44","date_gmt":"2009-03-23T15:18:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=1012"},"modified":"2009-03-23T09:19:27","modified_gmt":"2009-03-23T15:19:27","slug":"sylvia-plaths-son-commits-suicide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/03\/23\/sylvia-plaths-son-commits-suicide\/","title":{"rendered":"Sylvia Plath’s Son Commits Suicide…"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think we kinda saw that<\/em> coming…<\/p>\n

\"sidewalk-art.jpg\"(New genre, depressing graffiti<\/em>)<\/p>\n

It’s about as shocking as finding out Stephen Spielberg’s son is a great director, OJ’s son killed a white women, or Robbie Knievel’s son jumps a huge shark tank wearing nothing but glow-in-the dark body paint…<\/p>\n

Nicholas Hughes, the son of tragedy-scarred poets Ted Hughes<\/span> and Sylvia Plath<\/span> has hung himself, 46 years after his mother gassed herself. Sounds like one big happy family. Here’s what we think they might have looked like…<\/p>\n

\"sad-mystery-family.jpg\"(Smile!)<\/p>\n

I’ve seen happier people in a freaking cemetery…<\/p>\n

Shit sakes, they look more depressed than Detroit Lions season ticket holders…<\/p>\n

Luckily we also have a photo of Nicholas’s lovable companion Downer<\/em>…<\/p>\n

\"his-dog-downer.jpg\"(Haaarm, what’s the point?!?!)<\/p>\n

Buck up champ, at least you can lick your balls…<\/p>\n

One Trillion<\/em> Dollars<\/strong>!<\/p>\n

\"dr-evil.jpg\"(Holy coinage batman!)<\/p>\n

A top-ranking Obama administration economist says a new bank rescue initiative will clean up stricken financial institutions<\/span> so that they can resume normal lending…<\/p>\n

Who exactly said it? This guy<\/em>…<\/p>\n

\"christina-romer.jpg\"(Excuse me sir)<\/p>\n

Christina Romer! Christina, wait, that’s a ladies name…<\/p>\n

\"nervous-salesman.jpg\" (Yeeeshhhh)<\/p>\n

She might know how to help our troubled economy, but I saw a 5 o’clock shadow…<\/p>\n

She’s got a face made for radio…<\/p>\n

The goal is to buy as much as $1 trillion in toxic assets that are weighing on banks’ balance sheets, stifling their ability to resume more normal lending to families and businesses. Yay! Let us<\/em> buy all the shitty stuff. This is like when your sister-in-law has a “make-up party” to get all her sucker friends to buy the crap no one else would ever touch as a regular consumer…<\/p>\n

It better work…<\/p>\n

Big shoot day tomorrow, wish us luck. Have a day!<\/p>\n

<\/div>
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I think we kinda saw that coming… (New genre, depressing graffiti) It’s about as shocking as finding out Stephen Spielberg’s son is a great director, OJ’s son killed a white women, or Robbie Knievel’s son jumps a huge shark tank wearing nothing but glow-in-the dark body paint… Nicholas Hughes, the son of tragedy-scarred poets Ted […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1012"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1012\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}