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NASA’s Nebula Nerdgasim

August 7th, 2012

A white-knuckle plunge through the red planet’s atmosphere finally

saw our mars Rover land safely on the surface. Causing this reaction

(“High 5 bitches!”)

It seems NASA now stands for “Nerds Always Shout Ahhhhhhhhhhhh”

They just safely landed a 1 ton big-ass tank car on the surface of mars

so it’s no wonder they get to do the dork version of a flashy TD dance

(“Double air fist bump!”)

It’s like surviving a level 9 crypt in Dungeon’s & Dragons with a blind

Elf, deaf Wizard, & drunk Viking. In other words, only nerds will ever

“get it” or understand the sheer joy of winning a Magic The Gathering

card game just because your “planeswalker” got an assload of “mana”

(Landed, so suck it)

The name of the Rover is “Curiosity”. I guess “What The Fuck Is That”

or “Holy Shit It’s An Alien” was way too long to try putting on the side

The GOP Has “Missouri Three Way”

Wow, that actually sounds pretty hot and wild now doesn’t it? Yes, it

sure does, but it is really for the GOP to pick 1 of 3 candidates to run

(GOP favoribility rating)

against Democrat Claire McCaskill. I know, it was not fair to get you all

excited like that. Sorry, I am such a dickhole. But you’ll love the names

of these three GOP candidates. They are: Palin-backed Sarah Steelman,

(“I’m older Linsday Lohan”)

businessman John Brunner, and finally Clay Akin’s untalented older

(George Hamilton?)

uncle; Todd Akin. They got one thing in common. They all hate Claire

and will scream “She’s evil tax & spend liberal”. Forget she is not, and

forget they all have no ideas aside from “tax cuts” & “stop all spending”

(“I’m Mega Mind”)

Those are not political policy platforms as much as saying things that

won’t fix the problem, or even address it. Meh, different day, same BS

Have a day!


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