What ruins your sex drive, keeps you indoors, makes you gain weight, massages your eyes, and feeds your nerd-o-meter?

(Mother, father, secret lover)

Yep, the PS3…

It’s like a significant other at this point. I talk to it using gentile phrases like, “You look great in black, it’s slimming”, “No, I love you more”, & “All this and blu-ray?”

We’re getting married at a Vegas chapel in a week by a midget Elvis impersonator…

By the way, I found your wallet lying on the ground…

(I love nice leather work)

Have a day!