Baffling Bizarre Blagovision…

February 4th, 2009

The differences between Blagojevich and shouting TV gadget man pitchman Billy Mays are a painted on beard, and a few of Billy’s claims are actually true. The similarities are that they both are on TV every 5 seconds, selling some amazing bullshit, and are very fucking annoying…

rod-explains-to-dave.jpg(“In prison I’ll be bent over here”)

It’s like watching someone/thing selling a book no one will ever buy, yet they bought tons of ad time for it…

It’s like knowing you’re going to step into a ring blindfolded to wrestle a bear, then get your taint shredded for hours…

It’s as if Blago doesn’t quite understand placing a series of words together makes an actual sentence that people can hear and understand…

Have you ever watched a stiff, “45 something”, lying, white guy at a corporate event try to be funny? That’s kind of what it felt like, only with odd hand movements and Lego hair…

The Clip

“I’ve been wanting to be on your show in the worst way for the longest time,” Blagojevich told Letterman at the start of his lengthy appearance on the show.

“Well, you’re on in the worst way, believe me,” Letterman responded…

blago-with-black-kid.jpg(Kid on right, “He full of shit”)

Letterman then sums it up pretty well: “I saw you on ‘The View,’ I saw you on ‘The Rachel Maddow Show,’ I saw you on ‘The Today Show.’ I saw you, I think, every other show that is in production currently,” Letterman said as the audience laughed. “And the more you talked and the more you repeated your innocence, the more I said to myself, ‘Oh, this guy is guilty.’”

I figured out, he honestly has no clue of how incredibly stupid he looks, and I’m loving it. It would be like a man saying on national television, “I understand these people said I did bad things like trying to sell the vacant senate seat of President Obama, but that’s simply not true. I have no proof, no explaination, no people who support my position, the same PR firm as Drew Peterson, and no evidence what-so-ever of disproving this. But me, my hair, and foul mouthed unemployed wife know I will be innocent. Trust me!” He’s the Anna Nicole Smith, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Johnny Fairplay of politics…

Taken To Taken

Let’s say someone asks you to go see the new movie Taken.

Now you’ve officially been taken to Taken

fc_taken_adult_movie.jpg(Wait, wrong movie)

Now here’s where things get a little more complex. What if besides being asked to see it, you really like it? Now you’ve been taken to Taken and were taken…

speilberg-taken.jpg(Wrong again!)

Here’s where it gets insanely stupid; as if the first two weren’t. What if you were asked to see it, really liked it, then someone abducted you? Now you’d be taken to Taken and were taken, then taken…

Now, here’s where it gets…

*This is where I get slapped, then Michael Phelps & I put down the bong*

I Found This Album For You

I wasn’t around for the first iteration of Orion, but his rebirth looks glorious…

albumcoverbluemask.jpg(Men in makes are not to be trusted)

Have a day!

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