Secret Cervix?

April 18th, 2012

Our Secret Service forgot the most important word in the name, “Secret”

Turns out, 11 of them were involved in a Colombian prostitution scandal

(The “oh shit” walk)

Those in charge have taken away their badges, guns, & security clearance

“We let the boss down,” Dempsey candidly and contritely told reporters.

Not exactly. You let your pants down. We’re sorry it burns when you pee

Army General Martin Dempsey went on, “Nobody’s talking about what

(Oh for shitsakes)

went on in Colombia other than this incident……….so we let him down.”

Obama said that he would be “angry” if the charges of consorting with

Prostitutes, turn out to be true. That’s best left to Congressional folks

(“You got a Skype address?”)

All it takes is one small tiny prostitution scandal to take your focus off

Of their entire cocaine industry which basically supplies the entire globe

What’s the old saying “No use crying over split hookers”? No, that’s not it


“Don’t fuck hookers where you work”? Yeah, that sounds a lot more like it

Oh, Ted Nugent’s under surveillance for hateful comments against Obama

Stuff like “If Barrack Obama becomes the president in November…again, I

Will either be dead or in jail by this time next year…….We need to ride into

(Your IQ is under your cloth)

That Battlefield and chop their heads off in November…any questions?”

Maybe they can all sing a rousing version of “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang”

The Orange Man Is Projecting Again

John Boehner said Obama’s re-election strategy will be to “pull out every

Bogeyman they can” to scare voters & distract them from economic issues

(“I’m funny right?”)

Why the entire Republican party has totally short circuited? They’re now

All telling people exactly what they always do, but don’t realize it. It’s just

So damn awesome. It’d be like a chronic wife cheater always calling out all

(No, wait, you do that)

The other men in the neighborhood for “cheating” but without any proof

Why? Because that’s EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO, & they assume that all

The others are doing the same shit. When it’s discovered that they aren’t

They quickly bring up another point. Here’s the rub Johnny, ya don’t have

(Cee-Lo looks sick)

To scare voters. They’re already terrified of you fuckers. You create policy

Daily that ruins the economy in favor of the top 3% who your party now

Currently only works for. You hate the gays, women, the poor, Latino’s,


Immigrants, Blacks, Muslims, atheists, & any xenophobic flavor of the week

You are poised to attack next. This fall with be a fall of epic levels, and it’s

All bad for our government. We need checks to balance, not screaming hate

Have a day!

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