Obama gave his SOTU address last night to a “forced crowd”

(When does Bon Jovi come on?)

I mean, it’s not like they can blow it off. It’s their freaking job

Let me give you the gist of his speech: “American’s are hurting,

The middle class is dying, we’re getting outplayed across the

(“Listen up dickbags”)

Globe. To fix it, we must all work together. The wealthy needs

To pay more; they’ve been on the take too long. I’ve basically

Gotten zero help from Republicans. I’ve tired, & tried, & tried

(“It’s on bitches”)

some more. Well, the “trying” is over. American’s can’t wait

You pull this shit again, policy’ll be rammed down your throat”

It had way more standing up & sitting down than Sunday church

(“I stick my finger in her sn…)

Biden was asleep most of it, & had a tiny fly turd on his forehead

Boner was tan, dark, & stupid; & 300 gallons of Purell were used

Then Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels gave the GOP response:

(Fresh breath?)

How’d it go as Bush’s “former budget director”? Watch it here

It was the silly dog & pony show you expected, & right on que

Translation: “Obama didn’t make the mess he’s cleaning up.

(“I helped fuck it all up”)

We did, but tried to blame him him for it over the last 3 years

We also called him a Socialist, racist, Hitler, radical, evil, rapist

And even claimed he wasn’t born in this country. But that isn’t

(Ahhh memories)

Working on smart people, so we’ll try something new on you

He’s not fixing the mess we gave fast enough, or the right way.

You need to give us, the people who’s policies fucked this all up

(Remember that?)

The power back, to undo what he did, & make things worse again”

Oh, that is totally unelectable. You handed Obama a 2nd term

And your xenophobic bigoted hate-filled crowds won’t like that

Have a day!