Bolgernow.com

Mr. Potato Heads Baggage

November 17th, 2011

Look, it can seem like we comedians are piling on Republicans

(Har de har)

But it’s really more of a “hey you keep giving us this stuff” moment

Think of how funny “John Kerry turdy Democrats” were in 03

Well you can double it, then triple it, then multiply by 5

Mr. Potato Head AKA “Newt the talking silver haired penis”

(File photo)

Got a sweetheart deal from Freddie Mac, you know them

The one’s all Republicans demonize & blame for our collapse

Not the banks, Wall Street, or the repeal of Glass Steagal

Oh no, those other things had nothing to do with it at all

(Hey hot tits!)

Two weeks ago this fart locker couldn’t even get arrested

It may seem like I’m always picking on the GOP “front runner”

But turns out, they’re changing so quickly I can’t even keep up

Maybe because they all can’t sell “Screw everyone but me”

(Only I win)

It’s like a bad reality show where everyone gets voted off the Island

Forget Newt cheated on his 1st wife when she got cancer leaving her

Forget the 6 figure spending spree at Tiffany’s he won’t explain

Forget his dickish attitude to every moderator in all his debates

(Is that the Joker?)

Really in order to like any candidate, forget everything you know

This is strangest group of grossly underqualified people I’ve ever seen

Huntsman & Paul are the only two partially qualified people on stage

And their is no chance in hell of them getting the nomination

(Too soon?)

Meh, you say tomato, I say the end of the Republican Party

And the self inflicted schadenfreude couldn’t be more delicious

Holy Shit Balls, Obama Is Gay!?!?!

Oh yeah, it’s science fact people. Photo’s don’t lie…ever

(I knew it!)

Well, unless their photo shopped, or altered, or a politician

Than they lie like a dog on the floor in a warm sun spot

(At least it’s not a little boy)

Benton has a new ad campaign with major leaders kissing

All I could think was “What, no tongue?”. Nope, it’s classy

With a capital K. This’ll piss people off, & that’s why they did it

Have a day!

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