Your “Panama City Biggest Slut Of 2010″ t-shirt goes in the drawer for starters…

(Hellooooooo drawer)

When someone says anything today reply, “That’s soooooo 2010″

While shaking your head in shame

2010 Oprah only had a magazine, hit show, and was a god

2011 Oprah still has all those, a TV network, and now controls the earths rotation

(Barry Winfrey?)

When people at your office said, “See you in 2011″ before you left on vacation

You should’ve responded with, “But you won’t since I recently perfected time travel…

I’ll be living in 1987 indefinitely”

(Oh shit…)

We’re no longer in a “Recession/Depression”

But you still don’t have $, a job, or any happiness…

Aside from your lotto scratch tickets, & your kiddie inflatable pool

People suddenly don’t know what “Snooki” is

(Cartman rape is always funny)

But many suspect it’s a type of fancy billiards

Merry Nude Year!

In the Chinese calendar, 2011 is know as “The Year Of The Streaker”

(I give you Dr. Naked)

Ironically it’s also going to be the coldest winter

So choose wisely…and I’m back baby

Have a day!