Bolgernow.com

Archive for May, 2009

Know he’s the “Smelly Cab Guy”? (“I smell likea the ass”) I don’t think so. Follow me on this. If knew his cab smelled like arm pit funk that claws at the very soul of passengers, wouldn’t he change it? I thought maybe his “friends” figured “If he can’t tell the hell he’s emitting, it’s […]

Laughing so hard…can’t breathe…pissing pants…at the idea of this steaming pile… I write jokes every day… And there’s no way in hell I could ever write something this fucking funny… (Yes, that’s Debbie “Out of Blue” Gibson) What makes it twice as funny is they’re serious. What was the pitch meeting like? A 50’s something […]

Brooke and Jared…

May 15th, 2009

Wanted to take this opportunity to say hello… (Lovin’ you is easy) *Jared(left) nudges Brooke with the “go ahead, talk already” shove* Brooke(Clears throat for 20 seconds): “Hi, my name is Brooke Sleuther, and this is my wonderful husband Jared Crisp. John was nice enough to let us use his blog to today talk to […]

Leave it to Oprah… (A classic “Fart Off”) Remember when she put author James Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces” in her “Book Club”, found out he lied about some parts, then had him on her show to belittle him? Well she, just apologized to him… WTF?!?! (Was “Will Work For Food” taken?) No no no […]

In a rather sticky situation for the web slinger, he found himself in the 8th district court about to receive a ruling on his pending molestation charges. That’s when judge Rudy Delaro ruled not guilty and the wall crawler was set free… (Web slinging and the such) This all started from a April 12th kids […]

My New Hero!

May 12th, 2009

Wanda Sykes was awesome. That’s what a comedian looks like. Rush-a-roni is no comedian. He’s a neo-conservative leader with a mic. He is the punch line… (All that’s missing is a latex glove) Literally… She said, “Rush Limbaugh, ‘I hope the country fails’-I hope his kidneys fail, how about that?”. You tell the truth, then […]

Can you believe Star Trek only made 76.5 million opening weekend? Lazy jerks… (Fold your arms, bitch!) Now-a-days it’s a minimum of 100 million required for us to have “loved it”… Money said so… Did Spock get cosmetic surgery because he “couldn’t take all the ear jokes”? Did Kirk get kicked in the crotch by […]

Footloose For Real…

May 9th, 2009

A student at a fundamentalist Baptist school that forbids dancing, rock music, hand-holding and kissing will be suspended if he takes his girlfriend to her public high school prom. This was all said by his principal who still apparently thinks the world’s flat, the Easter Bunny’s real, and that “Snow” is “God’s dandruff”… (My Six […]

Manny’s Nutz…

May 8th, 2009

You’ve all heard about Manny Ramirez being banned by MLB for 50 days by now… But have you heard why? (A budding “bromance”) Manny’s nuts are like unemployed alcoholics…they don’t work… He tested positive for gonadotropins LH and HCG which trigger testosterone production. Testosterone’s depleted by steroid use, & low testosterone can cause erectile dysfunction. […]

They’re not called tornado’s or twisters anymore. We’ve got a whole new thing to be scared shitless of and it’s called a “Derecho”(Der-ach-o). God bless you… (Looks like the end of Terminator) Derechos are a band of thunderstorms that are bow or spearhead-shaped with sustained winds that can exceed 100¬†mph, as opposed to to bursts […]

Proudly powered by WordPress. Theme developed with WordPress Theme Generator.
Copyright © Bolgernow.com. All rights reserved.